


Be Brave, Takashi

by leosunderground



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, He is 25 for God's sake, Introspection, M/M, Not having things figured out is normal, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Shiro thinks a lot, THIS IS A REMINDER THAT SHIRO ISN'T ANYONE'S DAD, a small amount of angst, it wouldn't be me if it wasn't angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 09:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13268289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leosunderground/pseuds/leosunderground
Summary: Shiro’s brain thought it was pretty okay to make his heart go rampage whenever he looked at Keith.He felt like he couldn’t breathe.He felt like he was made of stars.Shiro fell in love with Keith beneath the stars overlooking the desert.When you said it like that, it almost sounded easy and simple, like one day Takashi Shirogane woke up and realized that he was in love with Keith Kogane. To be honest, it went quite like that, but it was far from easy or simple.





	Be Brave, Takashi

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back, did you miss me?  
> There is a surprisingly lack of Sheith written in Shiro's POV so I decided to change the status quo a bit.  
> This is to all the people that say that Shiro is old. This is to all the people that say that Shiro is young.
> 
> CONSIDERING WHAT DW JUST POSTED THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT SHIRO IS 25 AND NOT ANYONE'S DAD.  
> Useless it is kinky, we are okay with that.  
> Please talk to to me @ [ sheithsunderground](http://sheithsunderground.tumblr.com)
> 
> Have fun!

Shiro fell in love with Keith beneath the stars overlooking the desert.

When you said it like that, it almost sounded easy and simple, like one day Takashi Shirogane woke up and realized that he was in love with Keith Kogane. To be honest, it went quite like that, but it was far from easy or simple.

Keith was a collapsing nebula, beautiful and brilliant and all-consuming, with a gravity field so powerful that it seemed to draw those who dared to come close to his orbit, but whereas everyone saw destruction Shiro saw the birth of a star.

In many ways Keith was an unstoppable force and Shiro was a very movable object, since they first meet in the Garrison's rooftop under starlight in an unpredictable - a part of Shiro wanted to say it was a fated meeting, the gods itself pulling the strings so the two of them would meet, that same part of him doesn't want to cheapen everything they worked to build to the will of the gods - encounter, and how they both kept meeting in official and unofficial ways, and Keith continually stripped his layers of defenses with such ease. They are both defensive people, akin that in different ways and for different reasons.

For the first time in his life, Shiro was caught up in a losing match. He wondered if he ever had a fighting chance against Keith’s gravity, was struggling even worth it? Would it take him anywhere to resist? What would cause more pain? To stay or to leave? What would make him happy? To give in or to give up?

Keith threw him into a Mobius strip of questions, whenever Shiro thought he was going somewhere in the loop, he just found himself back at the same spot and asking the same questions. Some questions didn't necessarily need answers, nevertheless, he couldn't escape Keith's gravitational force even if he wanted to, nor does he wants to.

Shiro like the good student he was, had outlined four problems with his current situation.

All of his problems could be demonstrated in his current situation.

“Do you think there are aliens out there?” Keith asked with eyes full of stars as he pointed out to the very stars themselves. “I mean, realistically there should be aliens out there.” He empathized, face scrunched in concentration as he pouted.

Shiro laughed, seventy-five percent because Keith's pouting face was ridiculous, twenty-five percent because he was looking at Keith and not at the stars like he should have been. “Yeah.” Shiro drew out his reply, breathless from the sight as he was.

They were laying down at the top of a cliff near the Garrison, having sneaked out in the late evening, a small rebellion of their own, something Shiro hadn't done since his second year at the institution. Keith was sprawled like a cat on one of the towels he had brought inside his bike and even in the dark, he could see his form, for once carefree and lazily admiring the world.

Keith was one of the few people he knew that took time to look.

 

His fourth problem and probably the most dangerous one was that not only Keith was younger but that he made Shiro feel younger as well.

Shiro wasn't old by any means but he felt older than he was. He blamed his lifestyle, it was all consuming, between being an assistant and grading hordes and hordes of exams, and his own training and duties he barely had time to himself. His life was reduced to barely sleeping and coffee, god how he loved to hate coffee. On his good days, he felt like a stranger to himself, on his bad days… Shiro doesn’t like to think about his bad days.

Then collapsar Keith came and while Keith himself and the Garrison brass said that he was the one to save Keith, the truth was the Keith was the one that saved him.

Keith with his curiosity that had reignited the love of the stars in him again, Keith's brashness and lack of tact that made him intrude into his personal space every time Shiro was about to spiral into his work again, Keith's laugh when some other cadet made a rookie mistake and how they both had to hide their faces as to not be judged by their superiors. The way Keith's purple eyes shined in the moonlight as they scurried away into the night because No way you are spending the weekend hunched over a pile of paper.

Shiro’s arms were sweating around Keith’s middle as he speeds up in his bike tearing the night apart with its light, Shiro had his body inclined back in what Keith would call an utter reckless move, but he could do this now, only for this moment he could feel the wind rush into his face and tousling his hair, and he felt young and carefree, Shiro felt like flying. He had forgotten how much he loved flying.

It was such a dangerous feeling, he felt like an addict, in love with all the things he used to love. In love with living.

 

Shiro felt Keith's hand rather than saw it, the night was oddly quiet and the dragging of his nails against the ground was audible against the sky. It wasn't a fluid movement at all, Keith halted his hand many times, but after what felt like an eternity, they were holding hands.

When Shiro looked at Keith he was pointedly not looking at him, suddenly his uniform was the most interesting in the whole universe, Shiro looked away embarrassed as well as he felt held Keith's hand back, sweat building in between even in the chilly night.

 

This brings up his third problem. Shiro had never done this before.

This being dating. Or liking someone.

First of all, they weren't dating. Not per se. You see not only was Keith just shy into eighteen, but the Garrison would boot their asses into the street, well they would boot my ass into the street Keith said, you are too valuable and he was afraid for Keith, he was valuable as well. They spent time together, and sometimes held hands when no one was watching with all the awkwardness of a first something.

The real issue was that Shiro had never liked someone before, he was always too busy, being held responsible for things he didn't want before his age and always pushing forward towards his dreams, towards space and how everything was pushed aside with thoughts of later and when I'm older or when I'm ready.

No plan survives contact and he never planned for Keith.

Matt, blessed be his undoubtedly straight soul helped - read as sat there and didn't do a thing, that is a lie but helps him through the night - through his sexuality slash romantic slash what the fuck r u doing dearest heart crisis.

A filtered recollection of events went like this:

“I mean I have never liked someone before? I wasn't even attracted to people before? My masturbatory habits aside-”

“Do you masturbate to guys?”

“Matt, shut up.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I knew I wasn't straight straight because gods boys were pretty but not like that like I wasn't attracted to them but they were pretty? Does that mean I'm gay? But I liked a girl like when I was like six, I said was going to marry her! If I'm gay now is this bi-erasure?”

“No, it isn't.”

“I was looking into this thing, I think it is called demisexuality? What if I only like Keith because he is Keith? Oh, oh, God. Matt!”

“Yes, dear?”

“I used to think I was ace, I really don't want to contribute to the whole discourse that asexual people just didn't meet the right person. That would be horrible and I-”

“Shiro,” Matt said as he rushed from his bed and gave him hug, objectively he was holding his arms against his body. “Breath. You are spiraling, Shiro.” He said as he took a step back, releasing his arms. “Can you breath for me?”

Shiro didn't notice his pacing across the room, sweating through his entire body, he brought his hand up to his hair, noting that they were shaking and feeling that his hair was completely disheveled from passing his hand through it countless time, he felt his teeth clenching and the subsequent quake that filled his body.

“Calm down, Takashi,” was the only thing that flashed through his mind as Shiro fell down to his knees, head beneath his hand as took deep breaths. He felt the tears building up in his eyes as he clenched down his teeth, the feeling of dread washing over as breath more.

He wished he could melt his tears’ duct shut.

He may have screamed a bit.

“Shiro, it is okay to don't know what you identify as.” Matt began, holding his hands and looking into his eyes, sitting cross-legged from him on the ground. “You have time to go over this later, there is always later as long you are comfortable with how you see yourself.” He smiled softly and understanding. “Are you comfortable with saying you just like Keith for now?”

“You are surprisingly understanding and knowledgeable,” Shiro replied, if any of them noticed the deflection, neither commented.

“What can I say?” Math smirked. “I'm an awesome old bro.” He said tilting his head to the side.

“I know that this is scary and different,” Matt said calmly, eyes closing with a soft gaze, Shiro felt like this wasn’t the first time he was doing this. “And you will hurt people, and you will be hurt in return, but that is life, everything hurts.” Matt stopped for a moment, squeezing Shiro’s hand. “But this is an experience, this is your experience, Shiro. As long as turns into something positive, as long as it is a good experience for you, as long as there is a moment down the line where whatever this becomes a safe space for you, isn’t it good enough?.”

“I’m a mess, ain’t I?” Shiro stutters, drying up the tears from his face.

“No, Shiro,” Matt said he got up. “You are just becoming you.”

 

The more Shiro thought about it, holding Keith’s hand didn’t feel too bad, it felt different, new, definitely awkward, but it filled him with a warmth that he only felt when playing with planes as a child, zapping from one end of his backyard to the other dreaming of the skies.

When Shiro looked to the side again, Keith was looking towards the sky, stars reflected in his purple eyes, left hand outstretched as if he were to reach just a little longer he would grab the constellations. If it were in Shiro’s power he would give Keith the moon.

“You know…” Keith started, turning on his side to look at Shiro but never letting his hand go. “What do you think you will find on Kerberos.” He whispered to him, a secret between the two of them.

“Well…” Shiro began, “A part of me wants to get that ice samples…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Another part of me wants to find some ancient civilization ruins that will propel us into interstellar travel.” Shiro smirked.

Keith laughed, his body shaking lightly by Shiro’s side. “Maybe you will find your aliens after all… And I think you are playing too much Mass Effect.”

“There is no such thing as too much Mass Effect.” Shiro quickly interjected.

Keith lightly smacked his side. “I’m happy for you, Shiro.” He smirked. “You will go where no man has gone before. I’m excited for you.” He finished with a smile.

 

This was Shiro’s second problem.

If Keith asked, he would stay.

He didn’t want to stay, he also doubts that Keith would ask him to do that. Doubts that he would be the man Keith likes if he were to simply give up on his dreams, Keith wouldn’t be able to should the weight of such a decision, wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of Shiro giving up anything for him.

But if Keith asked, Shiro would stay.

The Garrison wouldn’t take this decision kindly, an unnamed amount of funding was spent into the Kerberos for its pilot to suddenly decide that he didn’t want to boldly go where no one has gone before just because there is a kind boy with a kind smile that gave him back the love for space that this very institution managed to drain away from him with everything that it was.

He was looking towards the stars for so long that he also missed what Earth would have offered him. He could still miss him, if anything went wrong he would never get back.

Shiro would.

He doesn’t.

He would.

Shiro could hear Keith moving, and he was all that he could see. He looked ethereal in the moonlight, like a god bathed in starlight, like a human holding his hand, like someone he could embrace. When Keith’s lowered his face, slow and unsure like everything in this dance between the two of them, Shiro raised his left hand and rested it against lips and he could feel Keith’s smirk as they kissed with a barrier in between them.

“Later,” Shiro said breathlessly. “When I’m back.”

Keith moved smoothly, for the first time, with the ease of a practiced movement and kissed Shiro’s forehead. “When you are back.”

 

Shiro’s first problem was that he was afraid.

He was afraid of so many things when people waxed poetry about the love they never mentioned the all crippling fear that came with it, never talked about the thoughts that Shiro had just before he fell asleep that made him feel uncomfortable in his own skin.

The first time he wished for Keith to ask him to stay was a reality check for Shiro. How much power was he willing to let Keith have over him? Was his head supposed to be filled with thoughts of Keith? Was he supposed to hold his hand and never let go?

Whenever Shiro looked at Keith he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Every time Keith looked at him he felt like was made of stars.

He loved Keith, even if he never said that out loud, it would change things if he were to say it, saying would give it form and he was afraid of what Keith would say back. He was afraid of what Keith wouldn’t say.

He was afraid that Keith would smile and ask him to stay. He was even more afraid that Keith would smile and he would never come back to see his smile again.

Don't smile at me like that, you will make me love you.

He was afraid of how Keith made him feel and how he felt about him.

You make feel like if I were to follow the light of the stars I would still find them alive.

He was afraid of himself, he was afraid of how much would change if he left, of how much would change if he stayed. He was afraid of whatever was blossoming between Keith and him.

“Be brave, Takashi.” His grandma used to say. “Fear is only good if it impulses you forward, not when it holds you back.” His grandpa used to say.

 

“I’ll be back,” Shiro whispered to Keith, as they shared a hug beneath the stars.

  


**Author's Note:**

> If anything in this offended anyone, please contact me so I may change it! I'm @ [ sheithsunderground](http://sheithsunderground.tumblr.com)
> 
> I will admit to having projected a bit - read a lot - of my issues regarding my own sexuality and romantic orientations into this. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry.
> 
> Did you have fun? Did you cry? Do you want to punch me? Don't be afraid to comment!
> 
> See ya next time.


End file.
